Well fuck. I don't even know.

I got back from Italy on Saturday. And hung out with my friends and boyfriend on Sunday. Then he broke up with me. He cheated on me multiple times with the prom bitch. I was pissed at the, both yesterday night and really upset. And now I'm not. Is it bad that I've already forgiven him? That even though he fucked her I still want to be with him. That I still love him. That if he asked me out today I'd say yes in a heartbeat? Everyone is angry with them and I, the one who got hurt the most, have already gotten over it and forgiven them. We talked last night after he did it and we talked again today. He told me he loves me, and I believe him, as bad as it may sound. I told him I loved him to and that I'd get back with him in a millisecond if he ever wanted me. I know it's probably stupid of me. I feel like,I feel like Syd and the drugee she's found herself hopelessly attracted to. No matter how badly he treats her she'll go back to him if he calls. I feel like that only worse because I'm in love with mine unlike her. I just want him back. It's awful that I'm willing to put up with the possibility of being cheated on again, having my heart broken again, and being lied to and having my trust crushed again. But as much as I know it's wrong, I can't help myself. I love him desperately, and even though everyone has told me, including him, and I know it myself, I don't want better, I want him. That's all. Him and only him. I just wanted and want to be happy with him. That's it. But now if we get back together, we'll have to keep it to ourselves. Because everyone is mad and they'll call me dumb. But I just want to be with him. Why did things happen like this. Fuck.