Buses and shrubs, buses and shrubs

I don't really mind traveling on a bus for a few hours. Unless that bus ride happens to be an eight hour excursion where the entirety of the view is shrubs and hills. The ride from Madrid to Barcelona is very pretty yes, but honestly, once you've seen a section of the Spanish country side, you've pretty much seen the whole thing. Oh well, it'll be worth it to get to Barcelona and be there and at the beach. Only a few more hours, thank god. 

Madrid

We got into Madrid yesterday. It's absolutely beautiful. I'm completely infatuated. The buildings and streets are wonderful and the fashion is just oh my god. I love love love the clothes, I spent some euros today and got myself some fantastic clothes. I'm so excited to wear them!

The "L" word

Well, we said it. We told each other that we loved each other tonight. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders only for another to be put on. Because it felt so good to finally tell him I love him, but now I don't get to see him for another two weeks. God, relationships are horribly wonderful. But I do love him and it was so nice to see him. I can't imagine my life without him in it now. I honestly can't. I can see myself being with him forever. I know we've only been together a month, but it's said to only take a fifth of a second to fall in love. I can't imagine a future without him in it. 

Well hello there

I haven't written in about a week, I had zero time though. So I'll fill you in. Boyfriend got back Saturday and I got back yesterday. Today is our one month and that's really all you missed. 

Monday

Stupid fucking Monday being so fucking far away. Damn, just come faster, I want my boyfriend

Finally

I finally got to have a half decent conversation with Boyfriend today. This five hour time difference is killing me, but I leave on Tuesday so it won’t be too bad for too much longer. I miss him so much. I can’t wait for next Monday. Please hurry the hell up, I want to kiss my boy. 

Dear Boyfriend,

Dear Boyfriend, 

        Hello, I miss you terribly. I wish you would get home soon and that I would be here when you do. I want you to come lay with me, and kiss my head and hold my hand. I want to put my head on your chest and just fall asleep surrounded by your arms. I want you holding my hand and kissing me and being with me. I really miss you. I can't wait until we're together again next Monday. It's honestly going to be the best feeling having you by my side and being with you. I didn't realize that when you left, and I couldn't talk to you whenever I wanted, that it would cause me to subconsciously wake up at 3 am every morning so I could see if you were online so I could talk to you. This isn't fun and I want you to come cuddle with me. I love you and in case you didn't hear me say I miss you terribly. 

                                                                                           Love and miss you bunches darling,

                                                                                                                                                 ~C~

Adventures in Eczema

Yesterday, my fingers started bothering me. It kind of feels like when your hand falls asleep and you get that static feeling, only less magnified and you can't bend or use your fingers without it hurting and they're really temperature sensitive. Like having sunburn all over your hands and submerging them in hot water. It hurts like no other and I have little bubbles under the skin on the tips of my fingers. It was really bothering me this morning so I did the logical thing and googled it. My searching came back with pompholyx eczema. All it is is these itchy painful blisters you get on your hands and feet. It sucks and so I'm going to the doctors tonight. God it's painful....

Owl City, Mahjong, and Facebook

The time of being able to talk to Boyfriend is nearly upon me. Ireland is 5 hours ahead of us so its almost 7 o'clock over there which means we'll be able to talk soon. In the interest of killing time and not going crazy I'm listening to my Itunes, playing mahjong, and blogging while waiting for my Facebook to tell me I have a new message. Although I'm not really sure that this is keeping me entirely sane. This week will be the hardest, next week when I actually have things to keep me occupied it will be easier. Hard, but easier than it is now when I have nothing to do and am sitting around waiting for him to message me. I'll actually be doing things all of the days next week so I wont go completely bat-shit crazy. I didn't realize how much we actually talked and how fantastic being able to talk to him whenever I wanted was until now. God, I hope the rest of these two weeks are this terrible...dear god, I really hope they aren't this bad.....I'll be able to text when I'm in Italy so that'll be nice, I won't have to go crazy again. Thank god. The only bad thing will be the 6 hour time difference, but we'll figure it out.

On that running grind

Yes, I gave this a ghetto title, so? But seriously, I've started my training for cross country. I'm so out of shape, it's not even funny. I even did track and I'm still out of shape. I've run for 4 days now so I'll probably take a day off tomorrow because you're not supposed to run every day. I love running, I love it a lot, I just never have motivation to get off my ass and actually run, but I've been doing well and I'm proud of myself. I've run at least a mile if not more every day, which is good. I'm just building up stamina and base miles right now. I'll start getting heavier in July and August especially right before start. I'll get there, it'll just take time. Speaking of time, my mile time was awful tonight, I'm embarrassed to say that it took me 14 minutes tonight. That's really awful seeing as how I used to run 9 minute mile. It kind of makes me want to cry, but I just need to keep running. I'm going for sub a 26:00 5k this year. My PR (runner talk for personal record) was a 26 something two years ago. I didn't do XC this year, I missed it terribly. So I'm running again and as painful as it is, it feels fantastic. I love the burn you get in your muscles when you force yourself to push it farther. I've missed running miles terribly and I'm soooo glad I started up again. 

....

He hasn't even been gone a whole day, and I even talked to him this morning. But I still already don't like not being ale to text him whenever I want....sadness

I'm just blogging about nothing now...

I'm blogging about absolutely nothing now, but I'm bored and no one is forcing you to read this, so I'll blog about whatever the hell I want. Anywho....I was reading another blog on my Wordpress, (I learned today that there are actually other blogs here and I can maybe find them if I look hard enough. I don't actually know how to search things own here though, so it's a process.) and she was writing about how the Internet knows her life better than people in her real life. It got me thinking and I realized how true it is. You all, whoever you may be know more about my personal life than anyone. Truthfully, I'd be mortified if anyone I knew found this and read it. So if you figure out I am me and that you know me, please just keep on trucking. If you really have to read this just keep it to yourself and don't tell anyone else please and thanks. I just really like randoming to the good people of the internet. It's relaxing and helps me get my mind clear. Also, if you're reading my blog please feel free to leave some comments/advice/whatevers. I'd appreciate them...

Summer Vacation

School let out last Friday, and so vacation has started. As much as I love summer and its temperature and lack of school, it's boring as hell. Honestly, I have no life and I never do anything. Like today for example, I haven't even put on a bra or gotten a shower yet and it's already 2:30. I feel like a bum, but I have nothing to get ready for, no where to go. Summer is boring...

And it begins

And so, two weeks of not seeing him begins today. It's going to be a looong two weeks too. Hopefully this week won't be too awful and next week I'll be dead from conference so hopefully I won't miss him too much. There's a five hour time difference so talking to him is going to be just a little bit awkward. But we still will. I'm going to miss him a lot. But we do get to spend our one month together which is good. 

This is Truth

I love him. Truthfully and honestly. I love him for his awkwardness, and his insecurity. For the way makes me feel when I'm around him and the way I always want him to be holding me. I love him for his quirks, and flaws, and imperfections that make him perfect to me. For the way he knows just what to say, usually. I love him for the way he looks at me when we're laying together and the smile he gets when we kiss. For the way he holds me as if I'm going to fall away when we kiss and hug. I love him for so many reasons and I know I'll find a million more. I fell quick and hard with him, but I don't mind at all. I really can't imagine life without him now. He gives me a reason to look forward to tomorrow. He came to me at such a perfect time, when I was just starting to give up hope of being happy again. Coming off a depression will do that but having someone else beside you all the time makes it so much easier. He truly could not have come at a more opportune time. I don't really believe in a god, but there must be something out there because he is a "godsend" for lack of a better term. I love him. Truthfully and honestly, I do. 

No longer terrified

I completely forgot to tell you guys this. I talked to him the other night when I was having my jealous mental breakdown. I told him and this was his response....

He honestly made me cry more than I was already. But his was nothing compared to what my sister said because I was going insane and he hadn't replied yet....

She's 12 by the way, like honestly? What 12 year old says that kind of stuff? I balled when I read that. As much as I dislike her usually she does things like this that make me love her. So boyfriend and I are good now we got things worked out and hopefully this will make us a stronger couple. 

The woes of summer

Once upon a time I was dating a boy. He was wonderful and we were together very often. Then summer came. 

     We still intend to be together at least once or twice a week if not more, but when one of us isn't in the country it's a little difficult. Such is the case these next few weeks. He leaves for Ireland for 10 days on Wednesday and then on Tuesday while he's still gone I leave for Conference for 5 days. So while I'm gone he'll come home 3 or 4 days before I get back on Sunday. The following Monday, the 17th,  is our one month, and then on the 20th I leave for Italy and Spain for ten days. So really we aren't going to get to see each other a whole lot for the next few weeks which sucks. I'm just glad that neither of us will be gone on our one month. I'll just be impeccably tired from Conference, but we'll still get to be together. It's crazy to think that in just 2 weeks we'll have been together for an entire month. It's awesome. I'm crazy about him and I'm pretty sure he feels the same way about me. Hopefully we'll get to see each other tomorrow before he leaves on Wednesday, we'll probably end up just hanging out at the house and watching a movie or something. 

Terrified

I'm terrified. I'm so horribly scared that he's going to realize he likes her more than he could ever like me and that he's going to leave. I'm not even scared of him doing something with her again. I'm scared he's going to leave. I should probably talk to him. I need to talk to him, but I don't think I can right now. I've never been so scared of losing something.