Vomit and cry

I was with Syd today and towards the end the prom bitch came. I though maybe Moum would be there in time and I wouldn't have to see her, but such was not the case. Anyway being in the same room as her after I left I seriously almost vomited. I should not hate a person so much that the very mention of them makes me sick, but I do. So there was that and then Syd is apparently having a bonfire tonight. I didn't get invited (reason I feel like a charity case sometimes) but it doesn't matter, I don't know that I would have gone, prom bitch is there and so is he. I want to see him, being in the same place as her isn't good for me, and honestly I'm not sure it's a good idea to see him. It probably wouldn't help with the whole getting over him thing. But I miss him so much. It's been bad the past couple of days. Like really bad, not being able to sleep bad. And he's constantly on my mind, I just want him to be mine again. I just want to tell the prom bitch to go fuck herself and leave us be so we can be happy and perfect together. Obviously thought, that isn't going to happen. I wish I would have been the choice. I wish he was mine again. I want to vomit at the thought of her and cry at the thought of him. My life fucking sucks right now.