Sick

I was just, you know, making my self want to throw up. Looking back at pictures, from prom. You know, when everything started going down? I am assuming that its probably a sign of me getting to attached to people that the fact that seeing her <strong>STILL</strong> makes me want to be sick. It's been almost two months now. As if seeing pictures isn't bad enough still, in five days, I'll have to be a room with her for 45 minutes every day. My life just keeps on getting better and better... I feel supremely nauseous, and I can't stop thinking about picking up a razor and cutting the shit out of my arm.. That's bad too. I know. I have never loved someone so much, nor have I ever hated someone so much. I know wanting to have him in my life as a friend even is totally out of the question, we can't even talk in person without it becoming awkward in the middle of a conversation, but I can dream can't I? Truth be told I probably <strong>shouldn't</strong> be dreaming that, but what are ya gonna do?