A New Phase

    A not so long ago time ago I was going through a depression. My parents were separated for about a year and were finalizing the divorce. It was hard on us all. My dad was mopy and depressed all the time, my sister moody and overly emotional. I was depressed although I didn't know why. The divorce hadn't affected me to greatly, it's better this way. I started therapy and stayed with it for only a few months before I realized the therapist thought I wanted to talk about the divorce. I didn't want to talk about that. I had already come to peace with that. Let me tell you, it's hard to talk to someone about why you're depressed when you yourself don't even know. Although I think now that it was because I was talking to this not-so-great-guy. He was big into pot and drinking and partying. Not the kind of guy I should have been talking to. I got used for sex, but in my mind it wasn't being used, he really did like me. He was athletic, older, nice to me generally, great in my clouded mind. I realized after I stopped therapy why I was depressed. I wanted him to like me, but he obviously didn't and wasn't going to. I had wasted so much time and energy on him, it's not even funny. Gladly now though, I've out him in my past and moved on. I'm much happier now, and I'm ready for this new phase of my life. A much better guy, a fresh perspective on life, and becoming more social again, although its difficult. I lost connections with a lot of my friends during the pot head phase. But I'm getting out more and being more social. And like I said, I have a guy now who treats me well and doesn't use me for sex. It's a new phase and I'm going into it head first and strong.